In 2010 I started my first blog, You’ve Got This. It’s much like this one in the sense of wanting people to laugh. But. Not at all like this one. This one gives you info about marriage and kids-mixed with God and faith. The first blog was sarcastic, rude, impatient… basically everything your momma told you to stay away from. I was young, a little rude, and had no writing filter. I basically complained and said what everyone, or most people, were thinking but didn’t say because it was offensive, or something you just didn’t say outloud. What can I say? You live and you grow up.
Well today I was taking a trip down memory lane to get some stories, because I have to write an English paper in the first person for school. I knew that blog was full of first person stories so I went there for inspiration. I was dying laughing, not becuase the stories were funny, but because I was freely saying whatever I wanted with no regard to anyones feelings! I obviously didn’t care if I got hate comments, and I got a few, but mainly, I got other moms thanking me for their morning laugh. I meant no harm, just making people laugh at other peoples expense. That was a joke. That was the “old blogger Aricka” coming out.
This one I am going to share is a MILD, I mean Mild! story from that blog. It is still embarrassing, but I was young and had young kids, and on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Just keep in mind, I had 4 kids 5 and under!!
So do you ever go to the store and not want to talk or deal with anyone? Avoid eye contact? Most of my shopping trips are that way. I love to walk into the store grab what I need and hit the self- check out line. I don’t have time to let a checker check my stuff out anymore and really, I don’t want to hear about your grand-kids. My kids are screaming and raising hell cause they want to leave just as much as I do. Even at the library you can check out your own books. You don’t have to deal with the dude sitting behind the desk giving you the stank eye cause your two year old is pulling every book off the shelf. Which, he has pulled off some interesting ones. Such as: The First Hispanic Woman Pilot. Hmmm…
Early Tuesday, about 7 in the morning, I had to run into Albertsons for some cereal and milk. I needed to hurry so I could get back to Zeke and feed him and send him on his little way to school. I am rushing through the isles grabbing stuff and putting it into my cart, I am done so I hurry towards the self- checkout line and right when I am about to get there this lady says, ” Did you find everything you need? I can help you right here.” Crap!!! She’s super old too! I wanted to say, “Yes, I found everything and no you can’t help me.” I can’t say that, I’m “too nice.” So she is pulling things out of my cart one at a time and telling me a story in between each item. Beep… “I watched my grandkids the other day for my daughter.” Beep…”She went on vacation with her husband.” Beep…”She was so surprised that I got them off to school on time.”
Not happening for me today!
Beep…”She asked me what I did to make that happen.” At this point I wanted to grab the rest of my items out of my cart and chuck them back into the isles. I was regretting the raspberries I got. Beep…”I just told my grand kids if any of you are late I am going to make you clean all the toilets.”
Then when she finally got done checking all my regretted items, she held my receipt hostage, until she finished her story. My hand was in the air wanting to grab it, like a cat wants to grab a moth infront of a porch light. I was staring at her like, what in the hell lady I have to leave!!! My kid is going to go to school starved cause I would rather him miss breakfast and catch the bus so I don’t have to load up my other three children and drive him. Yes, I just said that. I am never going to Albertsons again unless there is a plethora of very old people who want to have those five minute conversation with the checkers and leave me out of it!