“Sometimes They Would Turn Me Away…”

Right when I started school my dad was sentenced to 4 years in prison. I knew the random cash he used to sporadically send my way had come to an end.

I depended on money from donating plasma every week. Have you ever seen a plasma needle?! They’re not small!

My roommates started to notice that I didn’t get the typical parent visit that consisted of mom filling up the pantry and fridge. They always shared their food with me. They were seriously amazing girls.

Luckily, one of my roommates worked at the school galley (cafeteria) and she would sometimes “borrow”…yea, that sounds better, she would “borrow” the free meal passes that were given to visitors and she would give them to me. (I’m sure we will both be forgiven OR we will be heavenly lunch ladies for eternity.)

Plasma didn’t always work out. There were times when I would go to donate and would be turned away because my heart rate was too high. They would ask me if I ran there?

I didn’t.

I just have a high resting heart rate. When that would happen, I would walk outta there and think, they have no clue how crappy this is for me.

When Dan and I started dating we made a lot of Wendy’s runs. He loved the fries and frosties. We would go through the drive thru and he would ask me if I wanted fries and a frosty? I didn’t want to assume he was paying so I would say, “no.” At the time Dan did not know my situation. I was too embarrassed to tell him. I really did want one but I didn’t want to risk the embarrassment of not being able to fork over a couple dollars for mine if asked. I just sat and watched him eat his.

When I finally told Dan this story, it brought him to tears. He would have paid for my frosty and fries. There’s no doubt. He is very kind and generous. But I wasn’t going to assume that. I had been on my own for so long I knew I had to take care of myself and not expect anything from anyone else.

I wasn’t trying to be closed off or prideful. I was just used to doing everything for myself and I never expected a handout from anyone. Any kindness I was shown was wildly appreciated.

Living like that, ”plasma donation to plasma donation” has helped me to see how incredibly blessed I am. Not to mention the lessons I learned from being humbled daily by my situation. And I never gained the freshman 15 so that’s a bonus!

I am grateful for all that I have. I am grateful for the guidance I have from God my whole life.

I wouldn’t take away any of the trials I have gone through.

Every single one of them has shaped me into the person I am today.

Every one of them has brought me closer to God.

Every one of them has given me deep compassion for others.

Every one of them has been a life lesson to remember.

Every one of them has shown me how strong I am.

It’s easier to handle trials when we change our perspective and look at it as something that will strengthen us instead of weaken us. A way for you to gain knowledge and potentially help someone else with the same problem. Trials are blessings in deep, deep, deep, deep cover.

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