What If My Story is Shameful?

I found that if I am going to ask you to share your stories and insecurities I better share mine too. But before I do, I want to shed some light on why I haven’t yet.

 It isn’t easy to share fears and pain. Not just because its hard to relive those memories but it also causes your body to physically react. Your heart rate rises, you may perspire, cry, shake, get angry, or feel like you did when you were in the thick of the trial. It is a whole mental and physical outlet that most of us are programmed to avoid or told to supress. But if you are keeping that in, what is it doing to your body by not letting it out? How do you heal and cope when you’re always suppressing it? 

Some of your stories may involve other people or loved ones and you don’t want to hurt them by telling your story OR you’re afraid they will get mad. That has been my biggest obstacle. My story starts with living at home. My upbringing has a lot to do with who I am today. Most everyone who knows me, knows I was brought up in a dysfunctional and abusive home full of drugs and fighting. But I also love my parents so much for what they had to go through themselves. Their own personal demons they fought everyday.

I had to change the way I thought about telling my story. 

I am going to tell my story, only. 

I am not going to tell my parents story. 

I will focus on mine and give my facts and my views about my story. 

Also, this isn’t meant to hurt anyone. This is meant to help those out there who are enduring a similar trial right now and does not know what to do. The ones who need that slight glimmer of hope.

 If we stopped telling stories because not everyone looked good in them, then we would have no stories and no impact in this world. Everyone would feel like, no one else is going through this and I am alone. Therefore I will stay in my situation. This is your story and you have every right to tell it. Especially if you are trying to help others around you. 

If you are telling false stories or stories to just hurt someone, then what you put out, I strongly believe you will get back hundredfold from the universe. The truth always comes out, so save yourself the headache. 

If you are telling a story about someone who physically abused you, sexually abused you, mentally abused you or cheated on you then that person gave up their rights to be mad or sad about it. Bring them to my house and I will give them a swift kick to the ba…I mean, I will “gently” let them know that this is your story and you have every right to learn from it, grow from it, and help others with it. 

Shame, afraid to share because you feel ashamed of what you did or what your loved one did. Shame makes people want to run and hide. When satan told Adam and Eve to run and hide from God because they were naked in the garden of Eden, he enforced shame on them. Run and hide. Shame is a tool from satan. Shame should not be confused for guilt which is an appropriate reaction for something that you have done wrong. Guilt helps you feel bad and hopefully causes you to want to fix it. Shame meshes the sin and person together. The sin and the person should be treated as separate. They are not the sin. 

When our desire to help others over powers our own personal insecurities, we become healers. 

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